sail to the moon

I'm sitting in my kitchen while Karolina munches on the only food in our place. We're both waiting for the wave of sleep to hit us. I think it's already hit me. I'm going to go ride my bike in the morning, forget about my day until I meet reality. Maybe as hard as I hit a giant bush yesterday, who knows? Today was an odd day, things started feeling less difficult, almost. Though sometimes I make it difficult for myself. I went for a walk to clear my head. I went along the seawall eating my Kit Kat, almost choked when I found out how far I walked. Sometimes it's hard to think with other people around, no matter if there's noise or silence. Even though I feel a bit better, there's still a heavy weight in my chest. I guess it's just old feelings. The moon and water were put perfectly together, as though they were there for only me.

bom bom bom

Tomorrow evening I start a photography course at Emily Carr University. I have no idea how it will turn out. In some ways I'm frightened, but then again, I am excited. I've come to terms that I don't "want" anything anymore, since whatever I passionately want will never fulfill my longing. I suppose there's not a word to describe what my goals are; probably because they're not really necessities either. I am happy, to say the least. I now own a precious camera that I'm using only minimally (I don't want to wear my camera's sensor~~*). Austin is sailing up to my precious country of maple syrup and beavers (I'm sure he misses the taste of real Canadian bacon). I'm expecting him and his bro's next weekend or even earlier but who knows? Maybe a hurricane will appear? All I really crave is to take 'Free Slurpee Day' into consideration.

I'm very unimpressed with the weather right now. It's July, it's supposed to be HOT and SUNNY. Why clouds and 20 degree weather?

emmotionaaaaaaaal rescue

I suppose it's been awhile that I've posted anything here. I've been going through a mass amount of challenges that have become a massive strain on myself. I can't write too much either since my concussions have turned my brain into sludge; more like tapioca pudding actually...

I've had almost the entire week off and now I'm now ready to party. Deadmau5 is playing tonight across my "lawn" and I'm going to wait in line for however long it takes to go in there and dance. I'm ready to jump around and have some fun.

I have no idea why I worry. Really, there's no honest nor true part of me who admires the concept. Surely, whether it has anything to do with me or not, I really have a lot to be happy about. I have a lot to be excited about, I suppose it just takes time for things to start getting on track. I'm going to get my act together and promise myself a good rest-of-the-school-year and get aboard the highly technical art train. My doors have opened a bit for scholarships, and I'm going to apply for some. I can't wait to see how this will go.

Tonight my boy and I got together with our friends and went to check out what was happening under the world's microscope. A lot was happening, apparently. The Opening Ceremony was tonight and there were more protesters than there were tourists, it was quite a laugh. Not to mention the lack of snow, and the Arnold Schwarz -I'm not going to try spelling it - appearance. Anyway, the wind took us on our course to the less 'hazardous' areas out of town and we fled for entertainment. I'm not a fan of bowling (unless it's done in some sort of costuming) but we went anyway and spent some time acting young and reckless. Whilst on a search for pizza, the 6 of us crammed into a 2 door mustang (don't ask how) and proceeded to head bang to Billy Idol. I sort of introduced a missing part of my childhood I never had. Today was worry-less; I guess that's how I shall conclude, I have no idea what to expect, other than a whole lot of dancing with international party-goers. I need to have some fun.

I can't rely on people anymore, or so it seems. You can't really wait for them to make up their mind, if it's worth it, they will come to you. Many people miss their chances though, I can't really let you decide, however it's your choice. I'm not waiting anymore, I'm just going to walk away.

yesterday and today

my last couple days have been more than better, really. i'm sad the weekend is coming to an end. yesterday my two friends from my old school came to visit, it's been a long time since we've come together and had some quality time to talk and laugh. everyone has been so busy with life, there's not as much time to spare anymore. we went around and about the city in the middle of the night, it's still busy then. we walked through a half of the city. it's something I don't mind, especially in the rain. along the way, you can't help but notice the changes being made. everything is in it's last stages of completion for the olympics, anonymous people are starting to fill up the empty spaces. getting to sleep isn't easy, but then again it never has been for me. we stayed up until the morning watching infomercials and drinking tea. we slept all day. we went shopping for vintage this afternoon, I found some Dior pieces, which were lovely but not in my budget range.  sooner than later they had to say their goodbyes. It will probably be awhile until we'll see each other again. I went to visit my boy today, he's been down because we've been apart for a while. he's been sick and we went out and had an adventure. we went to the chinese market and went through every isle of the mega-store. he wanted me to try mangosteen (a Thai fruit), which was something completely foreign to me. we bought what we assumed was the best looking candy and pigged out. we had fun, which is something neither one of us has had in a long time. i'm glad.